The bikini season is here and for many, it can be a very personal subject especially if you struggle with your confidence like I used to do a year ago. I want to share with you how I went from hating my body to appreciate and loving it.
If you follow me on any of my social media, you will know that I’ve been away in Gran Canaria for a week visiting my grandma. And that I only just got back on Thursday. As we are communicating here, I sat waiting for my taxi to take me back to the airport as I’m going to Cyprus for another week to visit my boyfriend’s family. Since warm weather, beach days, and bikinis are coming hot in this season and this is a point for my post here.
I posted on Instagram, very briefly about my thoughts and feelings behind summer and especially beach holidays and the response has been incredible. People messaging me saying I’ve saved them, saying that they’re so happy that I had the guts to post it, let alone talk about it. So why not take it to the next step and tell you all about it too…
Here is the thing… I’m very short. I’m also not the skinniest. That combination as you can imagine makes me very insecure about my body and the way I look. Not only on the beach but in my every-day life. I’ve haven’t got a flat stomach, long legs, a thigh gap, or boobs that stay up by themselves. But do you know what? THAT’S COMPLETELY FINE!!!
It’s taken me 20 years (well, since as long as I can remember haha) to realize that life is more than just fitting into your jeans. It’s more to life than stretch marks. There is more to life than a diet. There is so fucking more to life than trying to be “normal” or “perfect”
This is coming from the girl who at 16 years old had food as her biggest enemy and the gym as her best friend. The girl who had (and still has) several mental health diagnoses such as anxiety, depression, anorexia, etc. The list is endless. I’ve spent so much time and energy on hating myself and the way I look that the people around me started drifting away as I wasn’t the same person anymore. And to be honest with you – it’s not until recently that I’ve found myself again.
I said in my Instagram post that it’s not just the society around us that’s dangerous. Looking back on my experience, I had no one telling me I was fat. I had no one telling me that I needed to change. It was all in my head. I was the bad guy. My mind against my own body.
Of course, I’m not saying that society is perfect or that body-shaming isn’t a thing – because it is. I’m just saying that we should, instead of blaming people around us and the media, we should also turn to the mirror and look at how we treat ourselves. We are taught from a very young age to be nice to each other. I think it’s time to teach people to be nice to themselves.
I’m now 20 years of age and I’d be lying if I said I was 100% confident. There are days I think to myself if I should turn up on the beach in a bikini. But I’m not giving up without a fight. I do wake up every morning regardless if I’m going to the beach or not, and I’m telling myself that I am beautiful. I am good enough. I’m healthy and I strive to be happier. Life is too short to go around hating yourself. Life is too short to not be happy. Cause we all are, more than good enough.